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What Pleases Your Wife?


Why do you need to know? Hey, think about it!

If you really knew what pleases your wife, and she's not all that happy with you, why aren't you doing those things? Or, if you are doing what you think pleases her, and she's still not happy - are you sure you really know?

Every marriage has good things in it, and it can be helpful to remember these at times of stress.

You and your wife married because ...? Okay, why did you wed? Maybe you couldn't help but be delighted by her, or her by you. Or maybe circumstances forced your hand.

By now you probably have some idea what your wife likes. Maybe it would be helpful for you to list for yourself the things you know she enjoys, and the things that you believe give her satisfaction from being married to you.

There are plusses and minuses about every human endeavour, including marriage, and it helps us keep things in perspective when we recall and recognise the good, along with the bad.

Your wife may have things that she would complain of - they're next on our list - xxxx but do start reminding yourself of the things you understand give her pleasure, support or satisfaction, from being with you.

We do not recommend presents, flowers, theatre tickets and so on - unless your wife has specifically complained about their absence. Reminders of her importance to you, by attending to the things she identies to you as most important to her - these are going to be your best bet, aren't they?

Troubleshooting:

  • You bought her a present but it didn't fix your marriage! No, it probaby didn't. Nobody appreciates being bribed or blackmailed. If you do "something nice" expecting that to solve your problems, to buy your way back to a happy home - think again! It's sure to fail. A long-term grudge, from long-term issues, can't be fixed with the odd gift of candy or flowers, or even a fur coat or new car. You have to work at it. Check your list of things that please her, and see you have included the things that will really please her, long term, not just give her a short term buzz but leave your marriage otherwise just as shaky as before.
  • You can't work out what she likes, apart from expensive gifts. This is a tough one. Are you sure she has quality time with you? Gifts are often sought as a substitute for personal attention. People get lonely. If you fear your wife might leave you, and she only wants gifts, and seems not to want time with you, we suggest you read about manipulation, page 47, and seriously consider using counselling, page 29, as an urgent option.
  • Copyright © 2007 Peter Leon Collins
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